How to Make Homemade Tortilla Chips

I never buy tortilla chips, I’ve always made them at home. This method is way cheaper, healthier, tastier, everything. I can’t believe I ever bought pre-made chips in the first place. But here we are.

 

How to Make Homemade Tortilla Chips

So here goes! You will need:

  • 5 whole tortillas (5 makes enough for 2 people to lightly snack on, use more if you want more, this recipe is for 5 tortillas)
  • 2-tbs of olive oil (canola and vegetable are fine too, really any oil will do, so if you’re some kind of crazy vegetable oil baron then you’re all set)
  • Whatever spices you want. Despite not having testicles, I use cayenne, chili powder, Tony Chacheros, garlic powder, cumin, and S & P of course.
  • cooking spray (optional)
  • aluminum foil (optional)
  • ziploc zipper baggie, quart size (optional)

Okay! So you got everything you need.

Directions for Making Homemade Tortilla Chips

0) Before starting, get your cookie sheet ready and line with foil. If you want, spray a little cooking spray on there.

1) Cut your stack of tortillas into triangles, whatever fucking size you want. You like big chips that hold an ungodly, yet somehow admirable, amount of guacamole? Or you like smaller little triangles that you can lightly coat with delicious salsa one after another, in rapid succession because you haven’t gotten laid in a while andoh god those chips are so good? I’m not here to fuckin judge, cut ’em how you want ’em.

2) Toss your triangles into your ziploc baggie. Obviously the more chips you’re making, the bigger the baggie needs to be, but if I’m making a little snack for myself I just need a quart size. If you opt out of the ziploc method (I guess you never bag things, excuse me your majesty), it’s cool, just toss your triangles on your cookie sheet.

3) Ziploc method: pour about 2 tbs of olive oil into the baggie along with your chips. If you didn’t get ziplocs because you’re not 8 years old anymore and don’t take a PB & J with you to school for lunch anymore, never fear! Just drizzle the olive oil over your chips, but you’ll have to hand toss them and arrange them on your cookie sheet for best results. This can get slightly messy, which is why I use the ziploc, and when was the last time you actually cleaned your kitchen, you filthy animal?

4) Ziploc method: toss in whatever spices you want. Go crazy. Go nuts. You like regular salt and pepper chips? Whatever blows your hair back, buddy. You like spicy, fire-from-the-pit-of-hell flavor? Throw whatever you got in there, just don’t try to kiss me. This is the time for you to break away from the drudgery of your soul sucking job to get creative! If you’re doing it the other way, just sprinkle your spices directly on the chips.

5) Ziploc method: shake that bag of triangles like your worst enemy’s neck until all the triangles are evenly coated. I like to hit my dog in the face with it. Goes over real well. After shaking, place the triangles on your cookie sheet and space them apart as best you can.

6) You can spray them again if you want. I like to do this because I believe that God won’t let the chips cook evenly unless I do this. Fucker.

6) Bake at 325 for about 15 minutes.

7) Enjoy!

** Note: you can forgo the olive oil altogether and just use cooking spray if you want. I’ve done this before, and they’re still tasty, just not as full flavored. Just arrange your triangles on the cookie sheet, spray liberally (thanks, Obama), and then do your spices.

***Another note: if you want to go all out fattening and greasy and terrible, you can fry these fuckers. Just heat up some canola in a deep enough pan and drop the triangles in for a few minutes each. But that’s more time consuming and messy and, therefore, stupid.

So the price breakdown is this:

1-20 count package of tortillas: $1.25

1-32 oz bottle of olive oil: ~$6 (depending on brand, I’m fine with store brand or low end, I am no barefoot contessa)

Spices-you should already have a decent stockpile of spices from which you can choose, but if you don’t you can get all the spices I listed for <$10, or just S & P for ~$2.

Cooking Spray- $1.39 (I use store brand; PAM is about $1 more)

Ziploc baggies-Ziploc is actually not the brand I use, I use store brand, and I got a box of 30 for ~$2

So to go out and buy all the ingredients (less spices, but including olive oil) it’s $10.64. What I especially love about making chips at home is they’re so easy, and you can make as much as you want when you want it, and all the “ingredients” can cross-over for other cooking needs. If you use foil & ziploc there is literally no mess to clean up, and you can go from being a sucker with no chips to being a winner with lots of tasty chips in ~15 min with only ~3 minutes of prep time.

For maximum enjoyment, you can also write the big tortilla chip conglomerate a strongly worded letter. That’ll show ’em.

1 Comments

  1. Brilliant recipe and taste. I really tastes such a solution and do it often. Theoretically, these chips can fry or bake – I always choose baked, I think they are then tastier and healthier.

    Still, I found a different solution with poppy seeds, nuts and other additives and can anyone advise what else can you say to them?

    Reply

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