Moving Out For The First Time – The Definite Guide through your Fears, Money, and Life Skills

Moving out for the First Time - A Definitive Guide to moving out of your parents house

I moved out for the first time when I was 16. I was eager to try the adult life and dumb enough to do it without any plan. I simply packed up my things (it was just about a bag worth of stuff) and left to live at my girlfriends’ for a couple of months.

Looking back now, I think I was an idiot.

Sure, I was independent, but as a result, I dropped out of school, and couldn’t get a job, because I didn’t know everything I later learned about getting jobs. To be clear, I still think moving out early is a very positive decision, but it must be done with enough preparation and plan, and definitely not ‘on a whim’ or out of teenage anger. Things don’t turn out as expected, so you better buckle up for a crazy ride.

I’m starting to sound like your parents. Let’s just move on.

Fears about moving out for the first time

There are several concerns related to moving out for the first time. You will likely feel like you don’t really know what you’re doing. You will worry about finances. You will worry about what you don’t know. You will wonder what your parents and friends will say. You might feel anxious, scared, and lost for a couple of weeks. That’s totally normal.

Feel your fears and then do it anyway.

The only way to cope with these fears and insecurities is, like always, to face them and proceed with your plan to move out anyway. They are still going to be there in 10 years, so why bother?

If you’re really unsure about this whole moving out thing, trial it first – get someone you trust to let you stay at their place for a couple of months; pay rent and help with the bills. This will give you a much clearer picture of what you’re in for and help you be more secure.

Money

First and foremost, you need to already have an income. This is not optional – don’t move out for the first time until you either have a job, or a scholarship, or your parents agree to support you. You don’t want to come back in a few months just because you couldn’t get a job in the meantime. Like myself.

Then, make a budget. I don’t care if your friends don’t have one. Becoming a responsible adult, you need to build adult habits so you don’t struggle with basic stuff forever.

So, how much does it cost to move out?

When I made the plunge, I completely miscalculated the whole thing. Here’s what I would do now.

You will probably rent an apartment. As a first-time mover, it’s the best idea to share it with a few roomies so the expenses get split, and it’s also very assuring to have people around in these early stages.

To find out how much will the whole thing cost, compare a couple of prices on the market. Take a low average of current prices of flats, then call the owners and find out how much the utilities cost. Allowing some fluctuation of prices of same standard apartments, simply add 20%-30% to this value. This is your housing cost. Find out other costs in a similar manner, consult friends and parents if needed.

And how much do I need to have saved up before I move out?

Optimally, you would need at least 3 months of expenses saved up in case something bad happens. In addition to this, you also need budget for all the down-payments and similar. To help you calculate this amount, I put together a sample google spreadsheet that you can pick apart and copy.

Here’s how it works:

Click on the image to open the Google spreadsheet

Click on the image to open the Google spreadsheet

Grown-up Habits

I like the software phrase ‘set it and forget it’ because it beautifully relates to habit setting; from the moment you get used to doing something like laundry, this thought process becomes automated, so you can start thinking about more important things in life. The moment you begin to think of moving out of your parent’s place is perfect to start establishing good habits.

Important habits related to living on your own are:

  • cleaning your place regularly
  • paying bills and rent on time
  • managing and saving money
  • budgeting and knowing exactly how you spend your money
  • staying away from various addictions
  • time management – I suggest the infamous Getting Things Done book on this topic
  • learning to listen to your body’s needs, like food, sleep, exercise (and flossing!)
  • keeping in touch with people that are close to you

Also:

Skills

If possible, get your mom or dad or sister or cat teach you how to do:

  • laundry
  • buying groceries
  • cooking a couple of simple meals
  • cleaning any part of a house
  • fixing (almost) any part of a house
  • basic car repairs and maintenance (changing oil, filling up the tank, changing a flat tire)
  • paying bills

Also:

  • This is a very cool checklist I found on this topic – be sure to check it out.
  • AoM posted a must-read series named ‘Heading Out on Your Own‘.

Items you need in your first apartment

There are a couple of items that you really need, but not as much as you probably think. In my case, there were kitchen utensils, garbage cans, coat hangers in all the flats I rented. I guess my best advice is to take as few things with you as possible. Yes, little. There is a chance you will move again and again and you don’t need to drag all that shit from the middle school along with you. If you can, leave it with your parents, or even better, throw it away or sell it.

This might be just my silly philosophy, but I noticed that there are very few things that I regularly use; everything else is just sitting in my drawers. I like to ditch this stuff as soon as it starts to pile up. A good tip goes like this:

For every new thing that you buy, throw 2 out.

However, if you really want the damn checklist of things, check out this one.

Also

Those of you who want to know more about the minimalistic lifestyle and how it can even save you money should read Leo Babauta’s books Clutterfree and The Simple Guide to a Minimalist Life. I can vouch for this guy, he’s legit!

Wrap-up

So there you have it. Blueprint for moving out for the first time. I hope I didn’t scare you though; I must say that I never regreted moving out from my parents despite all the struggles. In the retrospect, I enjoyed it and learned a lot on the way. It made me more independent, braver, and grown-up.

I hope you got something from this post, and if so, please share it with friends that are also thinking about leaving their nests :)

24 Comments

  1. Wow you moved out at 16!! I definitely wouldn’t have been able to manage as I just didn’t know enough about being a grown up. I know around here it’s normal to have to pay up the first month and last months rent as a deposit so it can get extra expensive.

    Reply
    • Thanks, John. That book about habits is really useful, but you need to transform it into actions for it to be effective! :)
      Thanks for stopping by.

      Reply
    • Thanks Brittany. Don’t sweat it too much. I was nervous my first time too! You will be just fine and in no time you will look back and say to yourself; gee that wasn’t hard at all. Best of luck to you!

      Reply
  2. Great Article. Questions though. I’m 20 and planing in actually moving out of state. What you advice on actually finding work before hand? Thanks again

    Reply
  3. yeah im with Jay Green, how do we do that ?
    I wanna move but I don’t have a job lined up, and to live in a hotel temporarily, is pricey , how do you be a tenant at will? no one is willing to allow this

    Reply
  4. I found this article helpful. I’m going to be 18 and out of high school and I want to get a one bedroom for myself (I really don’t trust anyone at all). I’m not exactly worried about the paying my rent on time. I’m worried about how to do other things on my own, like when to do my taxes, how to do my taxes, how to build my credit, how to keep myself out of debt, and all the other bills I don’t know what to expect to get thrown at me once I’m on my own. Like how to get life insurance later, health insurance. Or like would I pay with my card for bills over the phone. I just feel like I don’t have a clue.

    Reply
  5. I’m 21 and thinking about moving out for the first time.
    There are times i’m struck with doubt, there are moments I crave it more than anything in the world. But either way, I FEAR THE UNKNOWN (hope i’ll overcome it someday)…
    This has shed some light to the whole thing, thank you for sharing!

    Reply
  6. I’m actually planning on moving out soon, and I just turned 17 this month!! My parents are downsizing and wouldn’t have enough room for me in their new place. I’m fine with that though, I’ve been wanting to move out, I guess now I just have a deadline. I think I’m ready though, I have an income, I buy all my food and clothes and soap and my cat’s food and stuff already. I know how to cook, I do my laundry, and clean my area, have my own car, I pay my insurance and phone bill every month and I pretty much parent myself, always have. The only thing that would change by me moving out is a few more bills, which I can handle, I’ve been keeping close track of my money and made a budget. This article did help though, it really put things into perspective for me, like moving out seemed so scary, but now I realize how ready I actually am.

    Reply
  7. Pingback: The first timer’s guide to moving out on your own
  8. We’re about to say good bye (again!) to our only chick. At 19, he’s done the move in/ move out of a co-op and into a private dorm thing last year but not he’s ready to give it the old college try again. Except this time he’ll be living in his own close to campus. Am I worried sick and losing sleep? You bet but I think he’ll be ok. It’s me I’m worried about!

    Reply
  9. I really like this article, Heidi! What’s your take on furnishing the new space? I hired this company at furnishr.com to help me design and furnish my new apartment. How did you go about doing that?

    Reply

Leave a Comment.